One poor choice became another. Then another. And pretty soon I wasn’t simply thinking, “That was a bad decision.”

I was in what I call the shame cave.

“You know better.”
“Why can’t you control yourself?”
“What’s wrong with you?”

That’s the part I want to talk about.

This week’s Defenders LIVE gets into something I’ve struggled with for a long time, my “perfect versus piece of shit” mindset.

I’m talking about:

Why one bad choice can make the next one easier
How accountability can quietly turn into shame
Why I learned to associate perfection and control with safety
Why recognizing the pattern doesn’t automatically make it disappear
The difference between “I made a bad choice” and “I am bad”
Why trying to perform my way back into feeling worthy never works
How remembering who I am in Christ helps me make the next right choice

I’m still figuring this out. That’s actually why I’m talking about it.

Maybe the problem isn’t that we keep failing to be perfect.

Maybe the problem is believing perfect or worthless were ever our only choices.

And that’s just where this conversation started.

Adam Winch is the founder and lead instructor of Defenders USA, but he’s also a good friend, and our conversations behind the scenes don’t usually look much like a formal interview.

So we decided to let you guys in on one.

We got into some ridiculous things we’ve seen online, bumper stickers and how much information we unknowingly give away about ourselves, some of the weirdest things students have brought to firearms classes, things Adam does that drive me crazy, things I do that drive him crazy, and why sometimes you can hear something 20 times before it finally clicks.

I’ve done some pretty serious episodes of Defenders LIVE lately, and I wanted this one to just be fun. There’s no single big topic. It’s pretty much what it sounds like when Adam and I have a normal conversation and you guys get to listen in.

Let me know what you think of this format and if we should do it again.

No normal everyday life.
No workouts.
Almost no screens.
Very little I could actually do.

And in the stillness, God answered the question in a way I wasn’t expecting.

In this week’s Defenders LIVE, I’m sharing something different... a journal entry I wrote after a few difficult days and what they taught me about:

• The difference between growth and constantly believing we need more

• How internal chaos can exist even when we’re surrounded by peace

• The ordinary blessings we stop noticing

• What happens when all the “doing” gets stripped away

• Pursuing goals from gratitude instead of believing we’re not enough

• Recognizing what God has already given us

I don’t want to have to get sick to notice my life.

Maybe enough isn’t something we’re supposed to finally reach. Maybe we need to recognize how much we’ve already been given.

Earlier this week, I was sitting with friends wrestling with a question: When is enough, enough? We were talking about my fitness goals, but I knew the question went much deeper than that. Hours later, I became incredibly sick, and for the next couple of days almost everything I normally do was taken away. I couldn’t work. I couldn’t train. I could barely read, write, or look at a screen. I was forced into stillness.

And in that stillness, God showed me something I hadn’t been able to see while I was busy doing, striving, growing, and pursuing the next thing. The peace I was looking for was already around me. So were the blessings. My family, my home, my health, my freedom, the ability to move my body, food, safety, nature, and a life filled with more than I had stopped long enough to recognize.

This episode is simply me sharing what I wrote in my journal after those few days and what I believe God was teaching me through them. I still believe in goals. I still believe in growth, discipline, and doing hard things. But I’m learning there is a difference between pursuing growth from a place of gratitude and pursuing it because we’ve convinced ourselves that who we are or what we have isn’t enough.

Maybe the question isn’t, “When will I finally have enough?”

Maybe it’s, “When will I recognize that I already do?”

Those experiences taught her some hard lessons about what it really means to protect yourself and the people you love.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• Why your instincts deserve your attention

• How small actions can buy critical time when something goes wrong

• Why women sometimes ignore red flags and what we need to do differently

• What stalking victims taught Liz about documenting threatening behavior

• Why every family should have important legal and healthcare decisions settled before a crisis

• The difference between owning a firearm and actually being prepared

• How to keep fighting while accepting that some things are simply outside our control

Liz turned some of the hardest experiences of her life into stories that now help other people become more aware and prepared.

In this episode of Defenders LIVE, Lora sits down with engineer, firearms instructor, and thriller author Liz Lazarus, whose fiction is rooted in experiences she never expected to live through herself. As a college student, Liz woke in the middle of the night to an attacker kicking through her bedroom door. She fought back and survived, but the experience changed the way she thought about vulnerability, preparation, intuition, and self-protection. Years later, she faced a very different kind of fight when a guardianship battle left her struggling to protect her aging mother within a system she expected to help.

Liz shares what both experiences taught her about listening to your instincts, recognizing red flags, documenting threatening behavior, preparing your family’s affairs before a crisis, and accepting that owning a firearm is not the same as being prepared to use one responsibly. Lora and Liz also talk about the helplessness that comes when you’ve done everything you can and still cannot control the outcome, and how faith, perseverance, and preparation help us navigate those moments.

Being a defender isn’t about controlling everything that might happen. It’s about recognizing what is within your control and preparing before you’re forced to respond.

Watch more at Defenders-LIVE.com or subscribe for future conversations.

More at lizlazarus.com.

“I just need to get motivated.”

“I’m waiting for the right time.”

“I really want it.”

“I’m just being nice.”

Sometimes those things are true. And sometimes they’re the stories we tell ourselves because the truth requires us to do something uncomfortable.

In this episode, leadership coach Matt Ware and I get straight to the heart of it.

We talk about:

Why motivation may not be what you’re actually missing
How being “nice” can become a way of avoiding hard truths
Why wanting something isn’t the same as being willing to work for it
How past failures AND past successes can keep you stuck
Why honesty and personal responsibility are essential for real growth
What it means to stop waiting and play the shot that’s in front of you

At the heart of this conversation is something every defender needs: the courage to tell yourself the truth, take responsibility for what is yours, and act on the shot that’s in front of you.

In this episode of Defenders LIVE, I sit down with leadership coach Matt Ware for a candid conversation about the lies we can tell ourselves without even realizing it, and how those beliefs can quietly keep us stuck. We talk about the tension between waiting and taking action, why motivation isn’t something you can rely on, and the difference between saying you want something and being willing to change your behavior to get it.

We also dig into the cost of being “nice” when honesty is required, why keeping promises to yourself matters, and how both past failures AND past successes can keep you from moving forward. Matt challenges us to look honestly at what we’re holding onto, what we’re avoiding, and whether the life we’re living actually lines up with the life we say we want.

Watch Ep. 197 of Defenders LIVE with Matt Ware at Defenders-LIVE.com.

More about Matt at www.themattware.com.

That’s the question underneath this conversation with Defenders USA founder Adam Winch.

What started as an off-the-cuff discussion turned into a surprisingly personal conversation about identity, achievement, faith, and strength.

You’ll hear:

Why high achievers often struggle to recognize how far they’ve come

What happens when your career or accomplishments become your identity

Why the people you trust can sometimes see you more clearly than you see yourself

How difficult seasons can challenge your faith and draw you closer to God

Why true strength includes both toughness and tenderness

How the people around you can either limit you or call you higher

In this episode of Defenders LIVE, Lora sits down with Defenders USA founder Adam Winch for an unplanned conversation about identity, achievement, faith, and what real strength actually looks like. Adam shares his own struggle to recognize the level he has reached as a competitive shooter and instructor, and together they unpack something many high achievers wrestle with: the constant feeling that no matter how much you accomplish, you’re still not quite there.

But the conversation goes much deeper. Adam reflects on seasons when being a soldier, police officer, SWAT officer, and firearms instructor became part of how he defined himself, and what happens when those roles eventually end. Lora and Adam also talk candidly about faith through suffering, wrestling with God, learning to receive truth from the people who know us best, and why real strength can look like courage and toughness in one moment, then humility, tenderness, and service in another.

Being a defender isn’t about proving how strong you are. It’s about knowing who you are, who you belong to, and being willing to use whatever season, gifts, and opportunities God has given you in service to others.

Watch more at Defenders-LIVE.com or subscribe for future conversations.

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You’ll learn:

• Why mindset matters more than gear

• How training builds confidence and character

• The legal and moral responsibility of carrying a firearm

• Why preparation is rooted in purpose, not fear

• How great defenders continue growing long after they leave the range

This conversation isn’t just for shooters. It’s for anyone who wants to become more capable, more thoughtful, and more prepared to protect the people they love.

In this episode of Defenders LIVE, Lora sits down with Defenders USA founder Adam Winch to introduce Defenders University, an immersive eight-day training experience that goes far beyond marksmanship. From handgun and rifle skills to low-light tactics, combatives, force-on-force scenarios, and decision-making under pressure, Adam explains why the goal isn’t simply to create better shooters. It’s to develop thoughtful, capable defenders who are prepared mentally, physically, and morally for life’s hardest moments.

Together, they discuss why mindset matters more than equipment, the responsibility that comes with carrying a firearm, and how meaningful training shapes confidence, character, and leadership. Adam also shares practical lessons on dry fire safety, legal decision-making, and why true preparation isn’t driven by fear. It’s driven by a commitment to protect what matters most.

Whether you carry every day or simply want to grow as a leader in your home and community, this conversation will challenge the way you think about training.

It’s not experience. It’s not talent. It’s the willingness to keep learning.

In this episode of Defenders LIVE, Lora sits down with Brent Hickmon, founder of Haven Defense Company and Defenders USA instructor, to reflect on his first experience teaching at the A Girl & A Gun National Conference. Together, they unpack one of the most important leadership lessons Brent learned: the best instructors aren’t focused on proving themselves. They’re focused on serving the people in front of them. That shift changes everything.

Their conversation explores the role of humility, feedback, and continual growth in becoming an effective leader, whether you’re teaching on the range, leading a team, or raising a family. Brent also shares practical insights on firearm safety, preparing for training, and the exciting future of Haven Defense Company as it expands its business and training opportunities.

Great leaders don’t stop learning.

They stay coachable, serve others well, and continue refining their craft.

The best leaders never stop learning.

In this conversation with Brent Hickmon, we explore the leadership shift that separates good instructors from great ones. It’s not about having all the answers. It’s about serving others, staying humble, and being willing to grow.

You’ll learn:

Why great leaders actively seek feedback

How humility builds trust and influence

The mindset that transforms instructors

Practical advice for new shooters entering their first class

Brent’s vision for the future of Haven Defense Company

Whether you’re an instructor, business owner, parent, coach, or leader, this conversation is a reminder that leadership isn’t about being the expert in the room. It’s about helping others become better.

Watch more at Defenders-LIVE.com or subscribe for future conversations.

More about Brent at HavenDefenseCo.com.

You’ll learn:

Why leadership begins with taking ownership
The biggest mistake couples make when conflict arises
Why emotional connection is a skill that can be learned
How humility creates stronger relationships
What it really means to become a Black Belt Husband

If you’ve ever wondered how to become a stronger husband, father, or leader, this conversation will challenge the way you think about growth.

Strong marriages are not built by chance. They are built through leadership, humility, and the willingness to grow.

In this episode, Lora sits down with licensed marriage and family therapist, high performance coach, and author Quentin Hafner to challenge some of the biggest misconceptions about relationships today. After nearly twenty years of helping individuals and couples, Quentin explains why so many good men struggle in marriage, why leadership has been misunderstood, and why becoming a great husband has far more to do with developing new skills than relying on natural ability.

Together, they explore emotional connection, personal responsibility, healthy masculinity, and why waiting for your spouse to change is one of the fastest ways to stay stuck. Quentin also shares the philosophy behind his book Black Belt Husband and explains why marriage should be approached with the same discipline, humility, and commitment required to earn a black belt.

Whether you’re married, engaged, or simply want to become a stronger leader in every area of your life, this conversation offers practical wisdom that extends far beyond relationships.

In this episode, Robyn Sandoval shares how A Girl & A Gun has grown into a nationwide community that’s helping women build confidence, resilience, leadership, and lasting friendships.

You’ll learn:
Why community matters just as much as training
How confidence on the range changes life off the range
The heartbreaking story that shaped A Girl & A Gun’s mission
Why high standards create stronger leaders

If you’ve ever wondered why thousands of women are joining A Girl & A Gun, this conversation will show you it’s about much more than firearms.

What if learning to shoot was only the beginning?

In this episode of Defenders LIVE, Lora sits down with Robyn Sandoval, President and CEO of A Girl & A Gun, to talk about the mission behind one of the largest women’s firearms organizations in the country. While many people know A Girl & A Gun for firearms training and competition, Robyn reveals that its true impact reaches far beyond the range. Through intentional leadership, high standards, and a values-driven community, thousands of women are discovering confidence, purpose, and lifelong friendships that carry into every area of life.

Robyn also shares the deeply personal story that shaped the heart of the organization after her daughter Kiara’s life-threatening brain tumor diagnosis. In one of the darkest seasons of her life, she experienced the power of community in a way that forever changed how A Girl & A Gun would serve women across the country. Together, Lora and Robyn explore resilience, leadership, mentorship, firearms training, and why becoming a defender is about far more than learning to shoot.

Whether you’re an experienced shooter or simply looking for a community that challenges you to grow, this conversation is a reminder that strength is built together.

Watch more at Defenders-LIVE.com or subscribe for future conversations.

More at AGirlandAGun.org.

In this conversation, Dr. DeeAnn Regaisis shares what years of research have revealed about cyberbullying, digital safety, and the growing emotional and spiritual challenges young people face online. We discuss why so many children suffer in silence, how cyberbullying can escalate into far more dangerous situations, and why parents need more than rules. They need meaningful conversations and relationships built on trust.

We also explore why Ephesians 6 is more relevant than ever, what it means to equip our children with the full armor of God, and how families can intentionally prepare the next generation to navigate a digital world with wisdom, courage, and discernment.

If we want to raise defenders, we must first prepare them for the battles they cannot see.

In this conversation with Dr. DeeAnn Regaisis, we discuss why cyberbullying is more than kids being mean online and how parents can better prepare their children for the emotional and spiritual challenges of today’s digital world.

You’ll learn:

• Why kids often stay silent about cyberbullying
• How online conflict can escalate into much more serious dangers
• Practical ways to start meaningful conversations at home
• Why the full armor of God matters in the digital age
• How to help your children build resilience instead of fear

Our children don’t just need screen limits. They need truth, discernment, and relationships that make them feel safe enough to ask for help.

Watch now on YouTube or Defenders-LIVE.com.

Learn more at www.Plus3forcybersafety.org
Newsletter with information discussed in the interview: https://heyzine.com/flip-book/86d57d9407.html

In this conversation, we discuss temple optimization, nervous system regulation, genetics, identity, purpose, stewardship, and why so many people unknowingly live transactionally instead of transformationally. Ryan shares lessons from military service, leading Impact Montana, overcoming burnout, and launching Mission Mindset Solutions to help others pursue health through a faith-centered lens.

Most people are trying to fix symptoms. Very few are asking better questions.

In this episode, Ryan Luchau shares the lessons he learned through military service, chronic health challenges, burnout, faith, and years of helping veterans and first responders find a path forward.

You’ll learn:

• The difference between transactional and transformational living
• Why identity and purpose matter more than outcomes
• How small daily choices shape the person you become
• Why stewardship matters in your life
• How physical health impacts spiritual health

Watch more at Defenders-LIVE.com or subscribe for future conversations.

Learn more at MissionMindsetSolutions.com

A retired Army Special Forces Senior Sergeant, three-time Tactical Games National Champion, and student of human performance, Kirk has spent decades studying what separates those who perform under pressure from those who fall apart when the stakes are high.

In this conversation, we explore the psychology of confidence, the power of self-talk, the role of identity in performance, and why the story you tell yourself may be shaping far more of your future than you realize. Kirk shares lessons from elite military training, competitive shooting, athletics, and life that challenge the way many of us think about success, resilience, and mental toughness.

We also discuss grit, goal setting, pressure, failure, and why confidence is not something you’re born with. It’s something you build through preparation, repetition, and keeping promises to yourself.

If you’ve ever struggled with self-doubt, performance anxiety, or the feeling that you’re capable of more than you’re currently achieving, this conversation will give you practical tools and a new perspective on what it takes to grow.

You’ll learn:

Why the story you tell yourself matters
How confidence is built through action
What grit actually is
How to stay focused under pressure
Why process goals matter more than outcome goals

Watch more at Defenders-LIVE.com or subscribe for future conversations.

Check out www.TotalOperatorChallenge.com

Before becoming a New York Times bestselling author with more than 30 books to his name, John spent 15 years in fire and rescue, responding to some of the worst moments in people’s lives. Later, while researching real-world special operations missions, he earned rare access to Delta Force operators, military leaders, and the true story behind one of the most daring hostage rescues in modern history.

In this conversation, we go far beyond books and movies. We talk about trust, leadership under pressure, what real violence looks like, and why the people most capable of protecting others are often the least interested in talking about themselves. John shares lessons from emergency response, special operations, marriage, storytelling, and a lifetime of walking toward difficult situations when others were running away.

We also discuss the responsibility that comes with being prepared, the importance of strong teams, the dangers of Hollywood myths, and why leadership is often less about authority and more about earning trust.

At its core, this conversation is about what it means to be a defender. Not someone who seeks attention or recognition, but someone who quietly accepts responsibility when the stakes are high.

In this episode, bestselling author and former firefighter John Gilstrap shares lessons learned from emergency response, special operations, leadership, and a lifetime of serving others.

You’ll learn:

What real courage looks like under pressure
Why trust is earned one decision at a time
What Hollywood gets wrong about violence and preparedness
How great leaders inspire others to follow
Why defenders accept responsibility before they feel ready

www.johngilstrap.com

Watch more at Defenders-LIVE.com and subscribe for future conversations.

Dakota Adelphia chose a different path.

From teaching herself through educational setbacks, to biking across America at fifteen, to becoming one of the leading voices in concealed carry education, Dakota’s story is a masterclass in grit, responsibility, and courage.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why doing hard things builds confidence that can’t be faked
• How personal responsibility creates real freedom
• The mindset behind effective self-defense and preparedness
• Why community matters when you’re standing for your convictions

In this powerful conversation, Dakota Adelphia shares a remarkable journey of resilience, responsibility, and purpose. From overcoming an unconventional childhood education and biking across America at fifteen years old to becoming a respected firearms instructor, concealed carry educator, and Second Amendment advocate in California, Dakota’s story is a testament to grit, faith, and refusing to quit.

Lora and Dakota dive into the mindset behind personal protection, the importance of doing hard things, and why confidence is built through preparation, not comfort. They also explore Dakota’s work with A Girl and a Gun, her mission to help women become capable defenders, and the lessons she’s learned about leadership, community, and serving others without becoming bitter along the way.

Watch more conversations that strengthen your mindset, deepen your faith, and challenge you to live boldly at Defenders LIVE. Subscribe for future episodes and visit Defenders-LIVE.com for more inspiring content.

www.dakotaadelphia.com

https://www.youtube.com/@GunOwnersRadio

https://www.facebook.com/dakota.adelphia

https://www.instagram.com/lifewithadelphia/

In this powerful conversation, Tyler Tharp opens up about:

Losing his father the night he came home from the Army
Battling anger, hopelessness, and self-destruction
The moment God told him, “Get up. I’m not done with you yet.”
Why discipline includes rest and recovery
How faith transformed the way he sees purpose, love, and masculinity

This episode is real, raw, and full of hard-earned wisdom for anyone carrying heavy burdens or searching for deeper meaning in life.

In this deeply honest conversation, Lora sits down with firearms instructor and coach Tyler Tharp to unpack the painful journey that shaped his faith, mindset, and purpose. Tyler shares the devastating losses that defined his early adulthood, including losing his father the night he returned home from the Army, battling anger and self-destruction, and ultimately reaching a breaking point that forced him to confront his mental and spiritual health head-on.

Together, they explore the connection between discipline and rest, the trap of tying self-worth to achievement, and the healing that comes through surrendering control to God. This episode is raw, thoughtful, and deeply relatable for anyone who feels exhausted from trying to carry life on their own strength. It’s a conversation about resilience, purpose, forgiveness, and learning that true strength starts in the heart.

Watch more conversations at Defenders-LIVE.com or subscribe for future episodes focused on courage, faith, mindset, and personal growth.

In this deeply personal Defenders LIVE conversation, Lora Thorson shares the lessons she learned after stepping back into a high-pressure firearms training environment following months away from practice. What began as a conversation a…

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Daniel shares his journey from blue-collar work and homebuilding to stepping into the political arena, driven by a desire to protect faith, family, freedom, and the future of everyday Americans. They discuss border security, the Second Amendment, term limits, public safety, and why more ordinary citizens need to rise up and lead. This is a grounded, honest conversation about courage, conviction, and what it really means to serve others with integrity.

In this episode of Defenders LIVE, Lora sits down with Arizona congressional candidate Daniel Keenan for a raw and honest discussion about leadership, freedom, faith, and why everyday Americans can’t afford to stay silent anymore.

In this conversation, you’ll hear:

• Why more citizens need to step forward

• The connection between freedom and personal responsibility

• Thoughts on border security, the Second Amendment, and public safety

• Why authenticity matters more than polished talking points

• How faith and conviction shape true leadership

Watch more at Defenders-LIVE.com or subscribe for future episodes on Defenders LIVE.

That is one of the biggest takeaways from this conversation with Jacob Paulsen.

We talked about leadership, faith, authenticity, business, personal growth, and why people are starving for honesty in a world that feels increasingly fake.

In this episode:
• Jacob shares how ConcealedCarry.com was built from the ground up
• We talk about what actually makes a great instructor
• Why authenticity matters more than image
• The future of AI and how it is changing business
• The vision behind Guardian University and Guardian Conference
• How strong brands are built through trust and integrity

What does it take to build trust in a world full of noise?

In this conversation, Jacob Paulsen shares the real story behind building ConcealedCarry.com, creating one of the largest firearms training networks in the country, and learning what authentic leadership actually looks like along the way.

Lora and Jacob talk about everything from business and branding to faith, mindset, personal growth, and the responsibility that comes with leading others. Jacob opens up about his early struggles as an instructor, why great teachers are always students first, and how authenticity has become one of the most important qualities in today’s world.

They also dive into the future of AI, the mission behind Guardian Conference, and the launch of Guardian University, a growing platform designed to bring trusted training and meaningful conversations together in one place. Defenders LIVE is now featured inside Guardian University as part of that vision.

This episode is thoughtful, honest, and full of practical wisdom for anyone trying to lead with courage and live with purpose.

Watch more at Defenders LIVE and learn more at ConcealedCarry.com.